Tuesday, March 21, 2006

This One Writes Itself

An email from my sister entitled Dr. Mom Strikes Again...

"Sooooo, your brother calls me & it seems he has a sty, he makes the HUGE mistake of telling Mami & what does she suggest??? "Ponte un poquitico de Bibaporru en el palpado para que tu veas que maƱana no tienes nada." Can you FUCKING imagine putting Vicks anywhere near your eye? Of course the sty will be gone tomorrow because it will burn the hell out of your eye & next thing you know we'll be having to take him to get fitted for a glass eyeball. She's NUTS!"

"BTW...she went to Salazar's house yesterday & apparently she had a few drinks. Pete says she was SMASHED & casino night went on until 2 a.m. at ole 5800 Jefferson. Love you!"


This is the sort of thing my siblings and I call and email each other about all the time. We have HUNDREDS of these stories. The thing is, my mother means well, she really does. She loves us in her own way, but her methods are sometimes questionable. I'm surprised none of ended up down a well when we were growing up. She probably would have tossed a jar of Vicks down there too.

3 comments:

Ia said...

By the way...she now DENIES that she told him to put Vicks in his eye. Of course this means that he went ballistic on her when she suggested it. She now has a sty, I said "Don't go putting Vicks on it!" and she said... "Are you crazy? Why would I put Vicks near my eyes?" OH! Gee! I dunno, maybe because you ALWAYS put Vicks on everything!!! Give me strength!

Ia said...

So, I think she put Vicks on it ANYWAY. She was over today & her eye was swollen & teary, she said it wouldn't stop tearing & it hurt like hell. I cleaned it for her & then put REAL prescription medicice & it was 99% better by the time I drove her home. It was clear, not swollen, no redness or pain. GO FIGURE!
To be continued...

Tk said...

A friend of ours said her aunt was similar, but apparently (my gloss on this) she doesn't feel the need for having medicine in her salve. She just uses Vaseline.